So, one time, I wrote this blog about how much I liked a certain dugout chat about Mr. Alfonso Soriano. Now, the site has actually personally requested that I make a list of my favorite chats! You can see the personal request right on their front page. It doesn't mention me by name, but you can see the little hints that it's really meant only for me. Anyway, I'm not one to ignore a general request from someone I've never met, so here's my list:
10. Jim Thome sings about the Twins Obviously, I have my predilections toward certain teams. Particularly the best team in baseball in the whole entire universe. I also appreciate the characterization of the legendary Twins-killer on this site as essentially a butterfly-chasing four-year-old. It makes me giggle.
9. The Straight Man Chatroom, Part 1 and Part 2 These really can't be separated, though the second one has most of the punchline. Somehow, the A-Rod and Derek Jeter are gay lovers joke never really gets old for me.
8. Josh Papelbon Gets Drafted Jon Papelbon is slightly more intelligent than Jim Thome on this site. Though only slightly. Also, "/tomfoolery" might be the funniest one line I've ever seen.
7. Who is Your Tiger? I remember watching the Tigers play in 2003 and seeing poor Dmitri Young running around trying to play all 9 positions and slowly, slowly having his spirit crushed by the utter incompetence and disinterest of his teammates. This chat is ushering a new era. Or something.
6. A Jeep Thing Again, Jim Thome is like a giant, adorable, home-run-smashing, dream-crushing teddy bear. With footy jams.
5. Yor on defense Jon Papelbon outsmarts Kyle Farnsworth. Golden.
4. Pete Rose Stains the Game This is really a series of chats, all of which have the same joke. This is my favorite, but here's a runner up, featuring Stain'd
3. Kirby He has a space on my couch anytime. Though it might be kind of weird for him to come back to life just to stay on a futon in Hyde Park. I wouldn't ask questions, though.
2. The Twins Rule Everyone else drools. But no one knows it. More people should know it. But not so many that I'll start seeing hipster doofuses (doofai?) wearing Twins gear. As Slug says "It sucks that you think where I'm from is whack, but as long as thats enough to keep your ass from comin back"
1. You Saw This Coming Alfonso Soriano. Frank Robinson. Confusion. Buying 20,000 second base bags. It doesn't get any better.
Monday, June 11, 2007
Friday, June 8, 2007
Photo Diary of Curry
So, for all who have been hungering for an update on Houseboy's delectable cooking, I present this photo diary/montage/bunch of pictures.
First, we have shy Houseboy doing his thing. He tried to do the Lemony Snicket "turned away from the camera" pose, but I stood there until he needed to refresh himself and snagged one. Drinking and cooking is Houseboy's trademark. Ordinarily this goes very well. Once he "accidentally" drank a whole bottle of wine and basically spent the evening spinning around the apartment saying "Wheeeeeeeeee!"
This is the curry as it is cooking. It looks like a hot mess right now, but I promise you it's delicious. Or, at least the curry was when we ate it. I make no promises about the picture. That is our nicest-looking and highest-quality pan. Make no assumptions about the quality of our kitchenware from this fine specimen, which my mom bought for me. A lot of the rest of it is beaten up camp ware and "nonstick" pans that are contributing their own special vitamins to every dish we cook these days.
The finished product. I got those plates from Old Navy while waiting in line to pay for some work pants. Work pants + Plastic Plates = A Good Day. You can take that math to the bank.
First, we have shy Houseboy doing his thing. He tried to do the Lemony Snicket "turned away from the camera" pose, but I stood there until he needed to refresh himself and snagged one. Drinking and cooking is Houseboy's trademark. Ordinarily this goes very well. Once he "accidentally" drank a whole bottle of wine and basically spent the evening spinning around the apartment saying "Wheeeeeeeeee!"
This is the curry as it is cooking. It looks like a hot mess right now, but I promise you it's delicious. Or, at least the curry was when we ate it. I make no promises about the picture. That is our nicest-looking and highest-quality pan. Make no assumptions about the quality of our kitchenware from this fine specimen, which my mom bought for me. A lot of the rest of it is beaten up camp ware and "nonstick" pans that are contributing their own special vitamins to every dish we cook these days.
The finished product. I got those plates from Old Navy while waiting in line to pay for some work pants. Work pants + Plastic Plates = A Good Day. You can take that math to the bank.
Wednesday, May 23, 2007
What is this?
Besides filthy, germ-ridden and disgusting, what would you call the implement pictured above? Because the reason (in part) that it is so ugly is that I've been trying, in vain, to replace it for months.... I've looked at our local grocery store, drug store and Target, and I've searched for it online through Peapod and department stores and discount stores. I've tried keywords such as "Dish Brush," "Dish Scrubber" and "Scrub Brush," all to no avail. At this point, washing our dishes is kind of a cross between a joke and a daredevil stunt. Since I tend to have a kind of arthritic-old-man's grasp on reality, I'd be inclined to think that I imagined the thing and there has never existed any kind of scrub brush made especially for dishes. It always has and always will be sponges and nothing more. But blogspot let me upload a picture of it, so I have reason to assume I'm not that crazy. Though, if you are reading this and there is no picture above, or if the picture is actually of my ass or something, I'd appreciate a heads-up and a padded room, please.
Friday, May 11, 2007
Sponsor Me!
So, I've come up with a list of things I'd like to be able to do, and I'm relying on you, my WIDE and VAST and AFFLUENT readership, to sponsor me. Probably I'll set up a paypal account or something. Or just mail me cash, and write on the bills in sharpie which item you're sponsoring.
Item 1: Run a Triathlon. I need help here in buying equipment, making me get up to run in the morning, and mostly pushing people out of my way in the water so I don't get scratched or drownded. Possibly I would accept you constructing some sort of plastic bubble for me to float along in. Though ideally that would be for the running part so I wouldn't have to work too hard.
Item 2: Live in Spain as a fishmonger. This is a well-known dream of mine, but so far no one has volunteered to pay my airfare or to teach me the monger. I could also use people speaking Spanish at me in that weird accent they have with the "ths" and "shs" and all.
Item 3: Be 5'6". This involves a baseball bat, a weird metal instrument and absolutely no squeamishness, from what I understand. Or, you could fly me to Mexico where they'll pretty much do whatever surgery you ask them to.
Item 4: Become a world-famous juggler. As I am currently a regionally-famous clutz, this might actually involve impersonating me in performances and then allowing me to bask in the glow of fame and riches that will surely follow.
Ok, that's it. Let the money and favors roll in.
Item 1: Run a Triathlon. I need help here in buying equipment, making me get up to run in the morning, and mostly pushing people out of my way in the water so I don't get scratched or drownded. Possibly I would accept you constructing some sort of plastic bubble for me to float along in. Though ideally that would be for the running part so I wouldn't have to work too hard.
Item 2: Live in Spain as a fishmonger. This is a well-known dream of mine, but so far no one has volunteered to pay my airfare or to teach me the monger. I could also use people speaking Spanish at me in that weird accent they have with the "ths" and "shs" and all.
Item 3: Be 5'6". This involves a baseball bat, a weird metal instrument and absolutely no squeamishness, from what I understand. Or, you could fly me to Mexico where they'll pretty much do whatever surgery you ask them to.
Item 4: Become a world-famous juggler. As I am currently a regionally-famous clutz, this might actually involve impersonating me in performances and then allowing me to bask in the glow of fame and riches that will surely follow.
Ok, that's it. Let the money and favors roll in.
Monday, May 7, 2007
I have been remiss
So, those "in the know" tell me that one is supposed to blog more often than once every few whenever I feel likes its. I'm not sure WHY this is, or what exactly it would accomplish for me, but I can only assume that there are secret prizes lurking in the wings for best posting average (rate stat) or largest number of posts (counting stat). Blogger's Prospectus is of course coming up with new ways of measuring who is the best poster all the time, like VORB (Value Over Replacement Blogger).
Anyway, all statistics/baseball joking aside (*audience sighs*), there WAS a Houseboy meal recently that I neglected to record for the annals of time (read: until the Pulse wipes out technology or I erase my blogger account). So, this particular meal was cooked... say, Thursday, and it was pepper-crusted salmon, asparagus and Houseboy's first crack at mini Mexican chocolate souffles (soufflai? soufflora?). I have to say, I was a little disappointed that there wasn't a comical deflation of of the soufflè, but got over it quickly and enjoyed my delicious muffin full of air (I'd never had a souffle before, and that's the best description I can come up with). I took a picture of the empty container, but Houseboy is not as interested in downloading pictures and e-mailing them to me as he is in cooking for me, for some reason.
Anyway, I was able to bring some leftovers to work for the advancement of my bragging career, but no leftover soufflè, so I don't have much hope for the Superstar award this month (not that the scones won it for me LAST month anyway... apparently some people really hold a grudge when you fill their keyboard with superglue).
Ok, so outside of following a good friend around on a self-declared bender this weekend (resulting an out-of-town friend wandering through Cabrini Green alone and an acquaintance being thrown out of the beautifully named "Joe's on Weed" for punching a wall), not much is new in the world in or around me.
Anyway, all statistics/baseball joking aside (*audience sighs*), there WAS a Houseboy meal recently that I neglected to record for the annals of time (read: until the Pulse wipes out technology or I erase my blogger account). So, this particular meal was cooked... say, Thursday, and it was pepper-crusted salmon, asparagus and Houseboy's first crack at mini Mexican chocolate souffles (soufflai? soufflora?). I have to say, I was a little disappointed that there wasn't a comical deflation of of the soufflè, but got over it quickly and enjoyed my delicious muffin full of air (I'd never had a souffle before, and that's the best description I can come up with). I took a picture of the empty container, but Houseboy is not as interested in downloading pictures and e-mailing them to me as he is in cooking for me, for some reason.
Anyway, I was able to bring some leftovers to work for the advancement of my bragging career, but no leftover soufflè, so I don't have much hope for the Superstar award this month (not that the scones won it for me LAST month anyway... apparently some people really hold a grudge when you fill their keyboard with superglue).
Ok, so outside of following a good friend around on a self-declared bender this weekend (resulting an out-of-town friend wandering through Cabrini Green alone and an acquaintance being thrown out of the beautifully named "Joe's on Weed" for punching a wall), not much is new in the world in or around me.
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