Wednesday, January 21, 2009

Wicki Wicki What?

This week I read "Wicked: The Life and Times of the Wicked Witch of the West": 



Now, I've been putting off reading this for about 4 or 5 years, not because it didn't look good, or because I didn't like the other Gregory Maguire novel that I read (Confessions of an Ugly Stepsister), because it did and I did.  But because the M's are about halfway through the alphabet, you might notice, and I've been going through all my unread fiction in order of author name.  Because I'm a sane and normal person who does not have an obsessive need for order.  

Anyway, I was also putting off going to see the play until after I read the book, because I thought it would be like when you see the movie first and then the whole time you're imagining the main characters as Angie Harmon and Lane Smith.  But then about a year ago, my mom came to visit me for her birthday, and all she wanted was to go see Wicked on Broadway in Chicago, and so I had to suck it up and go see it.  Turns out, if you work for the city, you sit in the way up high back of the balcony and can't even see the actor's faces anyway, so there's not that much danger of them sitting in your unconscious waiting to act out the parts of whatever book you're reading.  

Not to mention that now that I've gotten around to actually reading the book, it turns out it's pretty different from the play.  I tried really hard to imagine Glinda (the good witch) as the bubbly spastic insane person I'd seen on stage, but it really didn't work out that well.  

To double back, "Wicked" is what wickedpedia calls a "parallel novel": it retells the story of "The Wizard of Oz"* from the perspective of the Wicked Witch of the West.  In this version, she's a genetic freak and a bit of a smartass, but not exactly born wicked.  We follow her birth in Munchkinland, her education at Shiz, youthful political demonstrations in the Emerald City and eventual self-imposed exile at the castle of Kiamo Ko.  All before Dorothy arrives.  Dorothy's part in the story would be minor to the point of footnote if it weren't for her talent of being in the wrong place and doing the wrong thing at just the wrong time, namely at the end.  

In a way, seeing the Chicago production of the play first did sort of affect my enjoyment of reading the novel: the play essentially re-imagines a well-known story such that the supposed Big Bad turns out to be the heroine, and conflicts that are disastrous turn out to be misunderstandings on a rather grand scale.  This makes for entertaining song and dance numbers, very amusing little character quirks and, of course, a happy(ish) ending.

On the other hand, Gregory Maguire's style (in his adult works, anyway) is fairly serious and contemplates larger order issues, such as the nature of evil, the role of government and the existence of the soul.  It gives us the question of where the Big Bad comes from and how she came to be who she is and make the decisions she makes.  It doesn't tell us it was all a big farce; it deeply examines what it means to be wicked.  

Once I settled into the difference, I definitely enjoyed the book, but I spent at least half of it waiting for the funny misunderstandings and was even a little surprised at the ending.  That said, it's definitely worth the read, and the play is worth seeing.  Just don't associate them too closely in your brain.  



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* I'm guessing the original inspiration is the novel, rather than the movie, but for all you illiterates out there it's not important.  You can pretty much follow along if you've ever seen a picture of Judy Garland.





Tuesday, January 20, 2009

The best, most awesomest great and fantastic birthday present ever

Here is how it started.  Houseboy and I walk in, there's a little back and forth about which section is ours and which row we should walk down so as not to have to crawl over people, and suddenly I'm distracted, because there's this really loud thwacking noise, and I turn around and there are giant men hitting frozen cow dung at us: 



So, I hyperventilate a little bit, but get myself settled in:



[Holy sh*t we're close]  And watch the warmups while dancing to the wickid music.  And then there's Mikko Koivu and my new favorite player, Clusterf*ck Clutterbuck and there's a lot of hip checks and cross checks and smashing into the boards, and my personal favorite, where they do that thing where they slap the puck all the way across the ice and it rattles around the plexiglass behind the goal, which makes this thwackpingthwackpingthwackping noise when you're right behind it and makes me giggle.  

I even got on the jumbotron, which has never ever happened before, and I saw it and was like "That girl has the same color scarf as me!" [Double take] "That's me!"  And won the award for most spazzy reaction to being on a big video screen ever.  

And there are three Wild goals in the first period and one Blackhawks goal in the second, all at our end, and the Wild kill two penalties and the Blackhawks goalie Khabibibibibulin catches like twelve shots in his glove and then in the last minutes of the third, they pull their goalie and the Wild get their fourth goal in one of those long, sad open goal shots that no one can stop, and absolutely everyone gets up to leave, except me and Houseboy, who do the dance of The Best, Most Awesomest Great and Fantastic Birthday Present Ever. 


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Friday, January 16, 2009

Unmovie of the Week

I was going to tell you all about Slumdog Millionaire for the following reasons:

1) I watched it with my parents over the holidays, and my dad liked it so much, when he called me for my birthday he said "Go see 'Bolt!'  Oh, and this other movie we saw which was really great, and it's about India... Carolyn, Carolyn, what was the India movie?  Slumwhat?  Slumdog Millionaire, she says."  And I had to tell him I'd seen it with him and then remind him which daughter I am and where I live and all that stuff you have to do after your parents turn 50. 

2) Ever since watching it, Houseboy and I yell "Chaiwallah!!" and "Computerji!" at each other and try to do the cool dancing at the end, but end up looking like Mr F. 

3) It's the "Independent Movie" of the year, where everyone who considers themselves smart and cultured go see it, so if you don't you'll look stupid and uncultured.  Like butter.  


But instead, I'm going to tell you all about how none of you dumb gits* had better go see that piece of ass fuzz movie "Bride Wars."  Every time I see an ad for that movie I about have an aneurism and have to lecture Houseboy on the way society demeans women and encourages women to demean each other through the obsession with material possessions, while perpetuating the stereotype that we're all backstabbing canibalistic she-beasts and that that is cute and funny somehow.  

If you're in the mood for something a little wrong in a gratifying, "I'm better than them" kind of way, check out "Sex, Lies and Obsession," starring Mr. and Mrs. Echolls, aka Harry Hamlin and Lisa Rinna.  If you watch only the middle part, you get to see a lot of [implied] masturbation and [implied] sex with prostitutes and [actual] peep show action.  And then you can turn it off before the wife inevitably takes back her cheating std-having husband because, as Hedgehog and I nailed down while I watched this on my sick day on Monday, the moral of all Lifetime movies is that addictions and psychological abuse are forgiveable, physical abuse is not.  Take that reasoning to the bank and watch them stare at you funny and then ask if you have a deposit or if you need some other kind of help.  




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*I had to go look up "git" in the urban dictionary to make sure I wasn't saying something unintentionally racist or xenophobic, because you know how the English can be.  Word of the day from urbandictionary.com = sideboob.  Awesome.  


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Wednesday, January 14, 2009

How to look hot when it's zero degrees outside

Step One--Get your Houseboy to help you make a pizza:




Step Two--Put toppings on your pizza and bake it up good:




Step Three--Get your Houseboy to make you mac and cheese:




Step Four--Don't forget a big pile of cookies:




Step Five--Collapse under the weight of cheese and chocolate and get your Houseboy to cover you with a blanket.

[Photo Not Available]




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P.S. This was written yesterday, but then I got "busy" at "work" and forgot to post it.  While on that note, it has been brought to my attention that the post about writing short stories in staff meetings might look bad to coworkers who stumble across it.  Consider this a late disclaimer: I am joking.  Of course I always focus on work while at work.  Work IS my life, okay?  I love every single meeting in this place.  It's not just a bunch of stuff that people do, it's ME.  I'd like to thank the Academy.  


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Boredom is making me stupid

So, I've developed this problem lately where I'm required to go to a lot of meetings that I have no interest or stake in.  These are hours in which I'm supposed to be learning about the projects my coworkers are involved in, or how to use a simple computer program, but instead my mind has started drifting into another world and more or less blacking out on whatever's going on around me.  Now, this isn't really a problem per se... at least four out of five of these meetings I sit and stare into the distance thinking about what a fish crossed with a horse would look like and get shaken out of my reverie by people wrapping up their notebooks and coffee and leaving the room.  It's the fifth out of those five meetings in which my boss turns to me and goes, "Well, what do you think?" and I go "Uhhhhh.  Seventeen would probably do it?" and hope that has anything to do with the conversation.  This has started to make me look bad.  And drawn attention to my vacant looks in the rest of the meetings.  

Since I can't guarantee any way of actually focusing and becoming a better employee at this point, I've decided to just use that time for a little personal business.  Today I started a short story in our staff meeting.  Maybe next week I'll get to work on some sketches or do some knitting.  

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