Friday, April 20, 2007

I'm all social and whatnot

So, normally I'm what I like to call "mildly agora-resistant." Meaning I really prefer to stay under my many ratty blankets eating microwaved pot pie and Easter candy and watching baseball to just about anything else. I get my groceries delivered. I get my pet food delivered. I once tried to get Houseboy to brush my teeth for me so that I wouldn't have to walk the 7.3 steps to the bathroom.

Anyway, that should make it all the more shocking that, not only have I "done stuff" three times in the last week, it was all (yes ALL), unusual, mildly irritating and generally out of my comfort zone. First, last Thursday Houseboy and I used a gift certificate to go see a play at The Goodman called Massacre. Upshot of this play was that it was about how Hispanic people in this country have allowed their hearts and minds to be co-opted and controlled by white racist charactarizations of their culture. I was kinda hoping for more blood.

Then, on Wednesday, we went out with Houseboy's baseball friend: a person I like very much, but who happens to be a sign of one very wrong thing in baseball: he's a native Texan and a Cubs fan (f'n WGN). Anyway, a friend of his was a part of a travelling socialist puppet troupe. Yes, I recognize that that sounds made up, but there's really nothing I can do about that. I promise it's real, and I promise we went. I can still smell the general reek of artsy socialists and their apparent disdain of soap and deodorant. Lesson learned there was that... um... oh, something about George Bush and the war, but there was a giant puppet elephant that was cool.

Finally, yesterday I lured Houseboy out to a forum on the non-profit industrial complex with the lure of Greek food. Panelists discussed the control of 501(c)3 nonprofits by the government, the wealthy, and foundations and how to escape the cycle of tax breaks and social control. Then I ordered a whole pizza and a giant bowl of hummus.

This weekend I will not be answering the phone or opening the curtains, and I will most likely smell like a socialist by Monday.

Thursday, April 5, 2007

Vote for ME!

Last night I was feeling grumpy and generally out-of-sorts, despite the Twins' imminent sweep of the Orioles (undefeated! Yeah! If this were football we'd be rolling!). So, Houseboy thoughtfully constructed some delicious scones out of the remaining milk, butter and chocolate in the house. Not only did this brighten up my evening, it gave me a reason to get out of bed this morning AND something to share with my coworkers to make them jealous, increase my chances of winning the Data Superstar award and all around make up for that time I flooded the floor because I wanted to know what it would be like to work on an island.
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Tuesday, April 3, 2007

Torii Hunter's a big copycat

Last night was Twins opening night, so of course Houseboy did a reprise of the afore-blogged-about mac and cheese and invited over our ex-roommate/Catholic convert to watch it on the real TV... this was one of the two Twins games that will probably be televised on ESPN this year since winning their division 4 out of the last 5 years, having last year's Cy Young, MVP and batting champion winners and being all-around upstanding citizens does not make them worth watching according to the Secret Tribunal of Sports Importance. I'm sure there will be more on this the first time I see NASCAR on during a baseball game.

Anyway, Houseboy had Jason "Bartles and Jason" Bartlett as his "pick to do really good tonight," Roomie had Justin "Island of Dr." Morneau, and I had Torii "Can't Pick Him as My Favorite Player Because Then He'll Leave or Get Traded" Hunter. Things started off in Roomie's favor, as the Doctor hit a clutch second inning homerun. Dusty Baker was guest-commentating and he actually used the word "clutch" to refer to scoring the first run of the game. However, not to be outdone, Torii "Should Have Gotten Credit for, Like, 50 Homeruns Last Year If You Count the Ones He Stole From the Other Team" Hunter came up next and did the same damn thing.

Neck and neck in the "I'm smart and picked a good player to do well in this game" race, Roomie and I were on the edges of our seats for the next appearance of our picks. Morneau hit a liner down right center and got erroneously called out at second. Torii winked in my direction and then knocked out basically THE SAME HIT and pulled in safely to second, assuring my victory. A lot more stuff happened that wasn't nearly as interesting and then the Twins won 7 to 4.

Also, poor Soriano suffers on in the dugout chats:

And I saw the Sun Times headline this morning about the Cubs escaping the "Evil Grasp" of the Tribune... or somesuch. Anyone have $600 Million I can borrow?