I reiterate, no hidden meanings

Last night I was having a totally normal dream I can't remember, when a giant tarantula came crawling in from the side of the screen and started eating the dream. When it was finished it started crawling down my arm and over the edge of the mattress to hide under the bed. I had to turn on the light and check under everything to make sure it wasn't really there.

Dreams don't have hidden meanings

The other night I dreamt that I had one of those rainmaking sticks like you can buy at the Renaissance Festivals. There was a giant black python that was evil and I turned the rainmaking stick into a bunch of little green snakes that killed the black python and then came back and turned into the rainmaking stick. Except one of them went slithering off and didn't come back. All I thought was "I hope no one finds out that that was my snake."

Last night I had a dream I was eating rocks out of spite.

My nose itches

I've had my legs crossed the same way for too long and one of my feet is starting to fall asleep.

I accidentally put one black clip and one brown clip in my hair this morning.

It's a little too cold for iced tea but a little too hot for hot tea.

I have a hangnail and my glasses are a little loose.

My jaw hurts and I had a defective q-tip this morning.

My cubicle cartoon is no longer amusing me.

I feel like there's a loose piece of hair on my face, but I can't find it.

I forgot the day of my doctor's appointment, and anyway I have to call to cancel.

My Spongebob pencil-topper's hair stopped changing color.

And there are still 15 minutes left in the work day.