Friday, April 16, 2010

Thoughts from my day so far

First, I should not be allowed to own or wear anything black. Apparently having mostly black cats doesn't keep me from showing up to work / class with gobs of fur on my butt, which I only notice when I go to the bathroom and have been walking around for hours like that, and almost makes me want to get one of these:


Until I remember that they scare the crap out of me because they look like babies and old men at the same time.

Second, about three weeks ago everything in the universe went into bloom around here and then all their petals fell off and there were like snowdrifts of pink and blue and white everywhere and it was beautiful and I was going to take a picture but then it got hot and they got all... whatever the opposite of freeze dried is, which I guess is sun dried, but not like the tasty tomatoes in oil in a jar, like the ones you scoop out of bins at your health food store and they look like Teddy Roosevelt's ear.

And third, Houseboy has developed an awesome new tradition that he calls "Martini Fridays" where he makes martinis and we sit outside and enjoy them and don't even care when the neighbors walk by and are all "Oh, well aren't WE having a nice time!" with that special emphasis that just lets you know they think you're some kind of rich socialite who is just made of time and martini olives

And fourth, I have to go to a meeting now and hopefully it will not be like the dream I had last night, where everyone talked............................................ like.................................. this............................. and I just sat there seething and plotting their deaths.

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4 comments:

  1. Oh my god gross! Those cats would be ok if there was a lot of fat filling up the skin like babies, but it just hangs off their bones. Gross gross gross!!!

    Would it be inhumane to make them intentionally obese so we can love them? Is that like the opposite of the pressure put on teenage girls to be skinny? My cats love to eat all day and they would love it if I fattened them up on purpose. And your fat cat likes being fat. I'm sorry don't be offended I called him fat. I'm just wondering if it's really that bad. I wonder if those cats are even capable of getting fat. I mean if they are don't you think someone would have tried this already? You know, making them all cute and cuddly with fat like babies are.

    Just saying.

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  2. Oh! God No! I just did a google image search for "fat hairless cat." It's wrong! So wrong, and I kind of want to throw up now.

    You should try it.

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  3. I tried it and they look like frozen turkeys with cat heads. I think that's adorable.

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