Misses and Kisses

Hello out there? How has everyone been? Let's discuss and compare notes! I recently discovered that the internets are like every other relationship out there, which is to say that most of the time I want nothing to do with you because you smell like cough syrup and sweat socks, but every once in awhile you throw a party that I'm not invited to, and there are balloons shaped like owls and a make-your-own-sundae bar and it goes late into the night and ends with you all lying in the grass looking up at the stars, and then I wish that I hadn't ignored every email you sent, even if they were all forwards and mostly either pro-something or anti-something-else, even though you know that I am staunchly under-everything and also don't find babies to be cute unless they are furry or look like old men.

Anyway, all that is to say that I'm ready now to hear about your vegan no-cook cheesecake recipe and the time you stubbed your toe on the cast iron door stopper at Crate and Barrel and the ensuing lawsuit and how you really think you might be psychic so you need to borrow $150 for those DVDs that will help you harness your power, but you should still know I don't have $150, even if it will pay off in immense dividends in years to come.