Classified Ad

Seeking: A reliable house sitter. Nonsmoker preferred. Must look after cats. Particularly the fat one. Watch him carefully. No particular reason. Will pay base of $5 and up to $10 a day, depending on services rendered. Optional services may include cleaning, opening and shutting blinds on the half hour, spraying Raid in the northeast corner of every room, monitoring mold growth on bathroom tiles. Perks: large variety of hard liquor, satellite television and demon-fighting reference collection on premises. Must meet before I leave for my "trip." To interview, please bring references and a hair sample to 225 Glenvista Road.