Don't you want to be my friend?

I added the new blogspot feature called "Followers" so that you people could sign up to be my minions, but of course no one did, just highlighting what I think I've made clear before: I don't have friends.

I'm not blaming anyone of course, because as it turns out if you invite me to your wedding I'll forget to charge my camera battery and end up with only photos of your ass and my feet, because I thought that was cute and I'd had a few beers already. Sorry Hedgehog and new husband, Sonic (he suggested this name, so you can see that they're adorable together, even though they won't let me post the ass pictures here).

Here's the picture of our feet:


I'm hoping it's the perspective, but DAMN do I have some thunder calves. Also, finger toes, and that's not a perspective issue. You can't tell from the photos I took, but I was wearing this totally awesome dress that I bought on Etsy from this lady who makes them to your measurements. So I looked like a hot 50s housewife, which is one of my life goals.

The only other shot I got was this fun little video which mostly shows darkness, darkitude and some darkosity. But if you look closely you'll see the telltale signs of White People Dancing and then White People Waiting for the Next Song and Wondering How They Should Dance Until They Figure Out What Song It Is.

Hedgehog got Houseboy and I drunk and made us dance to Monster Mash. It was a graveyard smash.

Other than that I've spent this week inventing new smileys, like the Ice Grill :[] and new internet slang, like LUAS (laughing up a storm). Those are copyrighted, by the way. Ten cents for every use. Given my vast minions, I should be a millionaire any day now.