Thursday, September 3, 2009

Writing assignments

So, Jeff over at Badly Drawn Monsters is giving out writing assignments, and I'd totally do it except that I have three other writing assignments pertaining to research proposals and policy papers and I don't remember what else, and besides writing about my writing is not a thing that I do. One of you guys should totally do it for me. I thought about buying a paper online, especially since I just found a website for said service when I googled "Mercutio as tragic hero" because I thought I had a totally original Shakespeare idea and then remembered that those don't exist, so I wanted to see what other people had said about it so that I could feel better about not getting a PhD in English Lit since everyone out there has already said what I would say.

As it turns out, if I'm willing to pay $60 a page, I could get you all an essay on said topic by sunrise tomorrow, or since I was looking at this at 11pm last night I could have had it by now. This essay may have included such clever writing as: "Mercutio is a relative of the Prince of Verona, so he is of high status, but he never really shows this. He has a very cocky, arrogant, and funny personality, and is always joking around even in serious times." That's an example from one already on the website, and certainly not a paper I just paid $60 a page for just to see what it would look like.

It's important to note, as found on the Frequently Asked Questions on this unnamed website, that even if I wanted to buy said Mercutio essay, I CANNOT turn it in for a class, instead I should pay $600 for a ten page paper by sunrise that I will use as an example for my own essay. Since my own essay is meant to be something about analysis of publicly available data, I don't really know how Shakespeare can help me. On the other hand, though, they also assure me that the essays I buy will not be plagiarized from others. So my investment in my own plagiarism will not be tainted by pre-plagiarism, which just dilutes the overall project beyond what is tenable.

Anyway, back to my blog writing assignment, if I WERE to write "7 personality traits exhibited by my writing" it would probably look something like this:


  1. I don't know how to manage this writing assignment either. I think you've handled it beautifully. I might have a body part that would suffice. I'm thinking eyeball.

  2. Six hundred bucks for ten pages??!!

    P.S. I mentioned you on the Jannaverse today. Well, sort of. :)

  3. Ahahaha! Hmmm... a picture IS worth a thousand words, after all. It totally works.

  4. Shine: The eyeball pictures are always a good bet.

    Janna: Right? I think the cost of it makes it obvious what they're up to.

    LiLu: Thanks! I think this might be one of my most accurate self-portraits ever, so it gets to the crux of the assignment.