Monday, April 6, 2009

A Case of The Mondays

Why would you sit right next to me on the bus when for once there is no one else on it and there are tons of open seats?  I wish I could fart on command and make you regret it.

Let's put this to rest right now.  BMI has absolutely nothing to do with your percent body fat and it doesn't tell you anything more than a height/weight chart does.

I imagine running for the elevator was the most exercise you've gotten since you were 12 years old and had to take the Presidential Fitness Test, but if you're still panting when we get to the 11th floor, you should really go see a doctor.

I wish that pithy phrases and "words to live by" would actually help me, but last I checked "A lack of preparation on your part does not constitute an emergency on my part" is not the kind of thing you can say to the damn CEO.

Please, if I offer you a mint, take it.


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