Monday, November 9, 2009

Go Kid from Naperville

So, being a poor student and all I don't have cable, as I may have mentioned, and I also don't have to be anywhere 45 minutes from my house at 8 o'clock in the morning, so in addition to The Price Is Right, which I may have mentioned once or twice this summer, what I have discovered is the Today Show. Back when I was an employed person, I'd turn this on in the early morning when all they really did was cut back and forth between national and local weather and it was a safe way to find out the temperature without hearing about the out of control apartment fire on the south side or the vegetable that was going to kill me or whatever.

But, as it turns out, they have this whole other part of the show where pleasant folks discuss mostly pleasant things or at least unpleasant things that are probably happening nowhere near my house and also, when Ann Curry says it, it can't really be unpleasant because even if it is you can just ignore what she's saying and check out her awesome sweater coat or something. Anyway, I also don't watch reality tv ever since I watched that one about the pretty girl who had to date nerds and she ended up choosing the not-nerd guy and I got really upset about it and then realized that I was investing far too much emotion into the love life of a person who probably would have made fun of me behind my back in junior high. So now my reality tv investment is in Today's Kid Reporter, and I don't really even care that much about who wins because they're all those extremely outgoing kind of kids that terrify me in real life and also I'd rather that a tiny loud person didn't take too much time away from Ann Curry's hair, personally, but anyway if one of them has to win, I vote for the kid from Naperville. Not just because Naperville is in Illinois and Illinois is in the upper Midwest, where all the best people in the world live or at least wish they lived, but also because he seems the least wide-eyed insane of any of those children, and he even occasionally speaks in a voice below 7,000 decibels (is that a lot of decibels? I mean to say that the kids are loud).

So, if I were the kind of person to vote for a television show contest, Kid From Naperville (yes, that's his real name) would totally get my vote.


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