Monday, October 5, 2009

No candy here, buddy

I got my first phone call in my office the other day while eating pizza, watching the Twins tie up the division and creating a program in R to calculate A union B minus C complement, which I imagine will come in handy some day and also made me happy that my office mate apparently is actually the Easter Bunny so she wasn't going to be walking in on that hot mess.

Anyway, what was first most surprising about this phone call was that there is a phone in my office. It makes a noise something like one of those Alexander Graham Bell box and crank jobbies, but actually looks like an 80's switchboard phone, with the lights that light up for different lines and all, which I discovered after I stood up on my desk chair and hauled it down off the top shelf. I picked up the line and said, "Corporate Accounts Payable, Nina speaking"* and the guy on the other end says to me "Hi, I have a question about my candy order..."

So, I go "Ummmmm. Yeah. Wrong number buddy," only nicer. All of a sudden he sounds really sad and says, "This isn't WebCandy?" And I go "That's a thing? No, this is... Vanderbilt sort of." Even sadder, he says "Ohhhhh. I guess I must have mixed up the numbers," and then he hangs up.

And even pizza and a Twins win couldn't cheer me up from the poor fellow's candy depression.

On the other hand, knowing that I work in a surrealist Norman Rockwell painting helped.

* Or, you know, just my name in a kind of confused voice.


  1. I wish I had a TV in my office!

    I wish I ate pizza in my office - which I guess is actually within my control.

    If you weren't crazy busy working on stuff all the damn time, I would totally be jealous.

  2. I actually watched the game on the computer... but given the size of my computer screen it's practically a TV. And you should definitely eat pizza in your office; it makes everything more fun.

  3. I have a question. If it's WEB Candy... why is he calling you? Wouldn't an online candy company have some sort of online customer service? I don't understand anyone who voluntarily uses the phone unless all other options have been exhausted.

    But I think perhaps you should answer the phone "Vanderbilt, sort of," in the future.

  4. You make a good point. I'm going to just guess that this guy wasn't the smartest shrub, though.

    If the mystery phone ever rings again, I will definitely pick up with "Vanderbilt, sort of."