Friday, July 31, 2009

I probably won't become a prostitute to pay my bills

So, last night we sat through our first tornado watch and warning in Nashville, and I'd forgotten what a pain in the ass they can be. Growing up on the plains in Minnesota, I had my fair share of hunkering down in the basement with my dog and a pot of macaroni and cheese, and I know the "head between the knees, hands over head" position that has probably never saved any small schoolchild from a wind storm, much less a tornado or nuclear bomb.

I've been living in Chicago for awhile now, though, and there's something about giant buildings and 100 miles of suburbs that keeps the twisters away, I guess, so I haven't had to deal with this in awhile. And Houseboy's from the DC area, where nothing bad happens ever except that the whole place is so polluted that in the summer exercising outside is as bad for you as smoking a pack of cigarettes, and oh yeah that's where they have all the politicians who cheat on their wives and then kill interns. But at least there are no tornadoes.

Anyway, since it's been awhile I forgot which is worse, Watch or Warning, and Houseboy asked if it was tornado season and I kind of stared off into space and then said something about the cats, and I hadn't realized until we were watching the twelfth interruption of our regularly scheduled programming that we don't have a basement in this building, so if we were upgraded from Watch to Warning we'd have to hunker down in the bathroom with the cats, and also not to mention I haven't been able to get ahold of our insurance agent, so technically we don't have renter's insurance right now, we have condo insurance on an apartment in Chicago with nothing in it.


Luckily, no tornado touched down on or near our place, and all our belongings are intact, despite a mild panic attack that led to me throwing things around the room and sobbing about how Allstate doesn't love me anymore. Today I will be calling our agent every hour until he picks up or calls me back, otherwise I'm going to the State Farm office next door, where there's a nice young man who tried to sell us insurance as we were still unpacking our giant truck of furniture.

Happy Friday!



  1. Ah, Tennessee. I remember tornado drills in school where we'd have to hide under our desks. Because THAT'S going to stop us from getting hurt.

    Once we had to go sit out in the hallway, and they put me under a GIANT framed (with a panel of glass) picture of the Virgin Mary. I know it was because I wasn't Catholic. I know it.

  2. Hey, ya'll! I'm sorry I wasn't up-to-date about your move. So Tennesse! Humid, hot, and awesome!