Monday, July 27, 2009

You slept with my wife. And then you tried to kill her.

So, there are people out there who think it's really cool and makes them smart to not watch tv. They will tell you about how they really only watch the Daily Show or CNN or something, but that otherwise they don't need television because there is nothing good on. If you have cable, this is just false. In my old life, when I had a job and a condo and direct deposit and a savings account, I could find all kinds of things to watch on television. So much so that I wished I didn't have to work so that I could be home to watch the Burn Notice marathon and catch up on How I Met Your Mother while still having time to rewatch my Veronica Mars dvds and wish that the WB didn't suck eggs* so much so that show would still be on.

Anyway, now that I'm trying to save the little money I have, and instead of paying for cable I went out and bought a digital converter and a new antenna and am relying on broadcast television for my entertainment, I think that these anti-television people are truly lacking in a sense of whimsy. Have you watched soap operas? How about any of the twelve religion channels that I now get? Did you know that The Price Is Right is still on? Not to mention the Spanish channel that seems to involve bikini babes selling cars about 24 hours a day. How can you honestly not see the entertainment?

Right now, I'm watching Judge Karen, who doesn't have a thing on Wapner, but still entertains the crap out of me. "How can you laugh when you're standing here today in a lawsuit against your brother? Mm mm mm. I tell you!"

Don't you wish you were unemployed?

* When I was in first grade I first heard the phrase "That sucks," and repeated it to my parents, who yelled at me but didn't tell me why. Going back to the older boy who had first said it in my presence, I asked what it meant, and he said "It means it sucks eggs." You can imagine that that didn't really explain anything to me.


  1. i have started watching the worst shows on tv, and just reveling in the awfulness. have you ever seen a dog smell something in the grass and then decide to roll in it? its like that.

  2. That is awesome! I think I'll try that with some of these soap operas.

  3. I'm waiting with Anticipation for Megan Wants a Millionaire. So I can puke on my couch. Ugh.

    I love television. The cheesier the better. I just finished Daisy of Love. I'm so normal compared to these people. I need my own reality show, so people can see what real reality is like. You know, even though the damnedest shit happens to me.