Tuesday, July 28, 2009

Internet love is almost like real love, but with less touching

Check that out. That's like a real honest to goodness internet award of some kind! I didn't get it through any crooked voting or popularity contest either. I got nominated fair and square by Jeff over at This is Why Your Hold Time Is So Long (the same that came up with the One Syllable Horror Title "Boobs," for which we should all thank him profusely and probably with chocolate. Anyway it has something to do with being honest in your blog, which is funny since everything I write here is completely made up except for the parts about how I envision bloody death everywhere I go. That part's true.

So, I'm supposed to pass it on to three other bloggers, hence diminishing my own accomplishment by giving it to others. I thought about just saying "Fuck that, I'm taking this home and putting it on my mantle and no one else can have it," but then I realized I don't have a mantle and besides it's an e-picture, which are hard to put up, what with having to unplug your monitor and then fit it inside a frame and then you get done with all that and realize that unplugging the monitor made the e-picture go away. It's possible I've tried this before.

Okay, so that said, here are the three I choose, because they haven't been chosen by others and I read them nearly every day and even check sometimes on weekends to see if they also don't have a life and feel like Saturday night blogging is actually where it's at:

Fuck You Penguin: All right, so this one is pretty well known and me nominating them is sort of like the star of the local production of Romeo and Juliet bestowing an Oscar on Helen Mirren or something, but it's funny and I like it and plus it's mostly pictures, so not too much reading for you lot out there who bitch anytime I recommend a book.

Incandescently Happy: Ms. Theresa Cha takes amazing pictures and sometimes explains them and sometimes just leaves you with an image of her beating someone on a cross and refuses to tell you why, like that's just something that happens in Korea, didn't you know?

Sassafras Junction: Did you know that's how sassafras is spelled? I didn't. Ms. McNasty is part of my attempt to understand the American South* as I run around down here behind enemy lines.

Runners up are A Pretty Nice Little Saturday, who would totally win if she would ever stop paying so much attention to her job and her "real" friends and write a blog once in awhile, and Miss Minneapolis, who has sadly left us on account of finding love or some nonsense, which just goes to show that non-Internet love is for suckers.

All right, so get out there and read everything I read so we can finally accomplish the mind meld, and then I can just think my blogs and not have to check for typos**.

* That's what people in other countries call it because apparently it's not south of everything. I flunked geography, so what would I know.

**There probably aren't typos in my brain. Twisted nonsequitors, but no typos.



  1. I'm not one for the "If you're not first, you're last" ideology. I am very happy with being a runner up so you can call me out on really sucking at posting regularly. It's a pretty sweet deal actually. I should get more shoutouts and almost props for being inconsistent.

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  3. antelope, if your internet usage doesn't involve touching, you're using it wrong.

  4. also dear, i just noticed that you have:
    50 posts with mental illness as the tag.
    10 with porn.
    2 with flower
    26 with murder.

    have i mentioned that this is awesome

  5. Saturday: Maybe I'll create an "inconsistency" award just for you. I'll give it to you when I feel like it, and then just disappear for months at a time.

    Jeff: I manipulate the internet entirely with my mind. Also, I'm surprised to find out I don't have more Murder posts. I probably forgot to tag a few.

  6. antelope, you must join shine and me during our daily killing time at work gchat. it ranges from the buttcrack of dawn early to much too late to be at work.

    my official not-really-my-email address is bad.monsters@hotmail.com

  7. Well, what with not working anymore I might not be as awesome of a gchatter as I should be, but I'll send you an e-mail with my really my e-mail address and you can join Hedgehog in my spotty gchatting that ranges from the buttcrack of noon to about noon-thirty.