Wednesday, July 29, 2009

In which I bitch about others' driving habits even though I've only driven three times in the last year

So, Tennessee readers, what the hell is up with people down here and the four way stop? Did they just introduce this concept? Is taking turns really such a difficult thing for southerners to understand? Every morning that we've gone for a run we've encountered the same damn problem at least once, and more often at every one of the twelveteen intersections we cross. We come jogging up at approximately four miles an hour all sweaty and huffing and puffing and really regretting ever taking up this idiotic sport just because our husband would disappear for hours at a time without us if we didn't and then we'd be sad and get fat on ice cream and whole blocks of cheese, and at the same time a car pulls up next to us and another car pulls up to the right of us, not at the same exact time, you understand, but one after another. And then they just sit there, and stare at each other. Or stare into space. Or take a long nap. And I'm happy for the break and all, but at some point someone has to go and it's completely unpredictable who it will be, and I expect that soon we're both going to get hit by multiple cars and die. Sometimes, we come up to an intersection, and there's a car going the same direction as us, with no turn signal on, and it will just sit there until another car comes from the other direction, and then they'll both sit at the stop sign and watch us jog by. I assume that after we're gone they have a barbecue or something.

Also, lady drivers, am I right?



  1. I have a guess or two on this one.

    1. Everyone in the South was raised to be polite, so no one wants to be the bitch who went first.

    2. Everyone in the South is a little dumber than the people everywhere else.

    Keep in mind that I'm saying this having lived in Tennessee until the age of 12.

    Also, you shouldn't run. It's bad for you.

  2. Shine: I think both of your explanations have equal merit. However, if I don't practice running, how will I be prepared when I'm inevitably chased by a psycho killer?

  3. antelope, word on the street is that you like twilight movies.

    this is not at all relevant to your post. still i thought it worth bringing up.

  4. Jeff: Who told you this? Just because I read all the books and went to the movie and enjoyed myself doesn't mean I "like twilight movies." I know they're terrible, I just enjoy terrible... And I don't need to explain myself to you anyway I'm an adult and I can do what I want to with my life, there's no law against poor taste or against finding vampires sexy, even if it leads to participation in nationwide trends that make us ashamed in retrospect and just drive us back to our Buffy the Vampire Slayer dvds.

    So there.

  5. Are you actually my friend Joanna? Because that was exactly her explanation for reading Twilight books and seeing Twilight movies.

    I don't buy any of it. Then again, I watched the entire season of Daisy of Love, so who am I to talk?

  6. We all have our guilty pleasures. And I watched that one episode of Daisy of Love, so I totally get yours.