Thursday, July 16, 2009


Back in action, Bidges! I sit here in my apartment in Nashberg, happily getting the Internets because I got one of those laptop stick things from my cell phone company, so now I can be connected to all of you no matter where I am, assuming that where I am gets cell phone reception (sorry rural Maine and northern Minnesota, I guess you'll remain wild and Internet free!) I also sit here notably NOT bitching with all my might about the heat, because we have glorious air conditioning that comes out of vents in the floor and will probably cost me hundreds of dollars a month because I'll be running it all through December. I'm also happy to report that we get great water pressure in our shower, and the electricity is on, even though I accidentally set it up for tomorrow.

On the flip side, it stinks in here because they put the last coat of varnish on our wood floors just hours before we got in, and they haven't finished the molding that connects the walls to the floors. Did you know you need that? If you don't have it, it looks like your house is made of Legos and the kid that assembled it forgot to snap them together tight. We also have all kinds of weird corners and 50 year old appliances in this place, but as long as it's not 500 degrees and humid, for now I'm happy. Houseboy has already realized that being married to me is about to get a lot more challenging as I make this noise every time we go outside "Meeeeeeeeeeeeeehhhhhhhhhhh! It's hooooooooooootttttttttttttt! I need some water!"

10 years in Chicago and Minnesota and he's not the little bitch he used to be about winter, so now he thinks he gets to laugh at ME. The truth is that people who can survive winter are just better people than those who can survive summer. It's a scientifically proven fact, most likely.

Anyway, now I'm off to get some Krispy Kremes and finish unloading the truck, including my 8,000 pound dresser, which I wish we had just set fire to instead of moving. I have bruises in places you don't want to hear about.

Hint: It's my thighs.



  1. since there is no wilderness anymore, i agree that places that internet is not available should be considered untamed frontier

  2. Oh! Please! It's so much harder to put on layer after layer! I hate winter, I bitch about it and then I add more layers. But it's a greater show of strength to survive summer comfortably. Either that or it's a show of liking being naked and having a naturally low internal temperature which is also a sign of hypothyroidism, which of course I have, and that makes me more of a bad ass than you! See that airtight logic!! Woot!

  3. Hedgehog, your logic is all confused. If it's harder to put on layer after layer, then I'm right. Those of us who get through (and even love) winter are stronger than those who just have to strip naked every summer. Maybe pastier and doughier, but stronger emotionally.

    Jeff, I think the next step is for Congress to declare Internet-free zones, making it impossible for T-mobile to position a satellite so you can check your e-mail in the Boundary Waters.

  4. You can always put on more clothes. Once you're naked, you're naked. Summer sucks. It was 103 degrees here in Texas today, so I don't want to hear it!

    Please eat a Krispy Kreme for me. And also a cheeseburger from Krystal's(even though they kinda suck). Oh, and if you wouldn't mind, stop by and give my grandparents a hug. They're crazy, but they're friendly!

  5. Since we only have a winter and summer in Chicago, I like the fact that I have something to bitch about year round. It makes starting a conversation with a stranger that much easier. It's hard to start a conversation about the weather in Spring and Fall. What can you say except 'Fucking great, another perfect day'

  6. Shine: I had a hot off the presses Krispy Kreme for you today, and I'll have Houseboy eat the cheeseburger, if that's all right. I'm all about grandparents, even the crazy ones, so consider them hugged

    Hillel: I think the problem is that you're just a sourpuss and prefer conversation about negative things... this is why you're a Cubs fan, no? You'd like Minnesota, we don't even have Spring and Fall out there. On the other hand, they don't talk to strangers.