Friday, June 19, 2009

Last Day at Work Bitches!

That's right, I'm about to enter the Life of Leisure. Otherwise known as, the Life of the Unemployed. Or the Life of the Perpetual Student. Whatever you call it, I won't be in a cubicle 40 to 45 hours a week anymore. And would you believe it, it's making me a little nostalgic?

These khaki walls with their kind of weird feathery wing pattern, except for the one that I covered with an old piece of cloth in a fit of Pimp My Cubicle one day... the 27 green pushpins, 28 red pushpins, 9 black pushpins, 13 blue pushpins, 20 yellow pushpins, 46 white pushpins and 2 silver pushpins that held up little pieces of paper I wrote quotes on in funny fonts I made up because I was supposed to be reading the most boringest proposals to provide research services ever... my little box of googly eyes and army men (there's an explanation for that*)... the time I had my window wide open and a bird flew right into it, just narrowly missing flying right into my face at about 40 miles an hour... my drawer full of every kind of pain reliever, band-aid, contact solution, "feminine product," candy, mint, tea, barrettes, kleenex, soup, crackers, change of underwear, firearms, collapseable emergency shelter and, of course, mascara...

Plus, I'll miss having to type my social security number into the timeclock in the morning because they never did get my ID card to swipe right, and I'll miss putting "smbpasswd" into my UNIX portal every six months and I'll miss how Microsoft Office 2007 makes even pressing the Start button take 20 minutes, and I'll miss how the entire organization is in massive re-org mode and the head of our office just got laid off and was supposed to be leaving on July 3rd, but then just up and left today, and how at least every 10 minutes someone makes a joke about how they're going to be homeless and their children will starve....

Oh wait.

Fuck this.

ANTELOPE OUT!!

6 comments:

  1. Awesome!

    Love the "not really" you totally tricked me due!

    I can't believe she just walked out today?! Crazy!

    The sky is falling and you just happen to be leaving cubicle-land forever! You are one lucky fucker!

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  2. i strive for the day in which my workspace involves walls and doors. what will you do on monday when you wake up?

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  3. Hedgehog: I believe they're actually escorting her out with security. Something about the use of child labor? I jest... maybe.

    Jeff: This Monday? Nothing. I will sit on my ass all day and do nothing.

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  4. I love it! You have now inspired me for Monday's "At Work, But Not Really Working Project" I'm going to take inventory. First on my list: The miniature plastic vagina on of my coworkers taped to my monitor. Yeah, the boss doesn't come around much.

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  5. Antelope: begin Living the Dream, ie not working on a monday morning.

    Please give us updates of the thing you are doing, so that we may enjoy your lack of productivity vicariously.

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  6. I'm so jealous I could spit.

    Okay, I just spit.

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