Friday, January 30, 2009

This is not the title

Here's what I think it would be like if people who wrote movie scripts came up with the title first, and then wrote the movie.

Scenario I: Clive Barker writes "Candyman."

Barker: Hmm.  Candyman.  A man of candy... A Candyman.  Candyman candyman candyman... I've got it!
/ Calls Tony Todd.

Scenario II: Michael McDowell writes "Beetle Juice"

McDowell:  Betelgeuse.  It's a star.  Or a planet or something.  Betelgeuse.  Betelgeuse betelgeuse beetle juice.  I've got it!
/ Calls Michael Keaton

Scenario III: David Hare writes "The Reader"

Hare: The Reader.  It's a guy who reads.  Or a girl.  A dude probably.  The reader.  Reader reader reader.  I've got it!
/ Writes a very different movie from the one that's out right now.
/ Calls Ralph Fiennes

Aaaand scene.


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