Saturday, August 22, 2009


So, I'm not really super great at meeting new people because I usually assume that they're just looking for an excuse to hang me from a meat hook in their basement or make me come to out to dinner with them or something, which makes me feel a little nervous about impressing them just the right amount so that they will like me but not want to make me their zombie bride or whatever. I'm better than I used to be, in that I have discovered that being silent and hanging in the back will goad a certain type of person into poking you with sharp sticks until you participate in whatever it is they're gabbing about.

Anyway, as a result of this, things like orientation weekends cause me anxiety and make me sleepy and drain important juices out of my brain, so that when I come home after skipping only half of all the required activities on Friday I sit in front of the computer and apparently narrate everything I'm doing in what can only be described as a Pee Wee Herman voice. And when Houseboy points it out to me, I have to just stare at him with a blank look because I have no idea what he's talking about.

It is also possible that when one of the professors introduced herself and said she was from Minnesota and didn't even know what the sports teams were, I shot my hand in the air like we were participating in some kind of quiz that would win me chocolate.



  1. I know what you mean, about not being all that keen on meeting new people.

    I also know about the phenomenon of being poked with sharp sticks by people who can't stand the sight of me sitting quietly in back.

    It's moments like that when I think my favorite superpower would be invisibility.

    Though it might also be nice to be able to turn lettuce into chocolate.

  2. best part of this post? 5 sentences. and if i think you were trying, you could have done it in 3.

  3. Janna: Mmm chocolate. Also, all the way through junior high I actually thought I could turn invisible. I was a special child.

    Jeff: I'm all about conservation of periods. Which sounds like an ad for Seasonique or something.