Thursday, August 20, 2009

Technology is making my life harder

So, I just figured out how to configure my Outlook 2007 with my Vanderbilt e-mail, which is Captain Awesome, but also makes me realize that now I have to put all my important meetings and orientation mixers and to dos and to don'ts and everything from my Google calendar and mail into my Outlook. And probably I have to keep them in both places maybe because if I don't then my Real Husband, Mr. Googles, will get in a strop with me* or I'll forget which things I put in what and show up to meetings instead of picnics and squirt gun fights instead of classes. All in all it reminds me a little too much of the job I had at Religious Non-Profit where I had to help the Executive Director sync his Treo (which he pronounced Tray-oh) with his Outlook at least once a week and then at every staff meeting he just had me print out the calendars anyway and I'd get yelled at from everyone there because things were missing on the printout and THEY SYNCED THEIR CALENDARS DAMNIT, and now I'm finally getting why maybe that is just a big old stupid pain in the ass, but I still kind of want a Blackberry because I think it will make me look smart in class.

I was going to try to look smart in class by hauling my laptop around with me, but then I found out that walking the one and a half miles to my school in the 1500% humidity and 90 degree heat is enough to have me sweating through my clothes even without my 20 pound laptop, and also yesterday I went to do work on my desktop and it said "I'm sorry Antelope, but I heard you were starting school and it scared me that I might have to do work again after like 5 years, so F. you, I'm dead now." And then it turned back off. And then I turned it on again and it said exactly the same thing, like it was a recorded message and maybe the computer really wasn't there at all and was in fact dead. I turned it off and on about 70 millionty more times with no luck and unplugged it and plugged it back in and shook it and hit it like a pinata, all to no avail, so I think that I am now proud owner of a box full of wires rather than a computer. Which means that I can't just take off with the laptop whenever it pleases me to get a shoulder workout, because that leaves Houseboy at home with no internets or typing machine for his Big Important Book about Francisco de Osuna, which I'm sure you are all looking very forward to reading someday.

So what I mean to say by all this is that I have too many programs and not enough computers to run them on, which is a lot like what my brain feels like right now as I look at my bag filled with articles and logic models and forms and charts and kleenex and pretty rocks and shiny things for my nest.

Oh, and p.s., today I got my first e-mail where somebody spelled out the world "ya'll." It's a liminal moment and we should all bow our heads in memory of my former life as someone who never had to hear that word without laughing out loud.

* That's a Britishism. Yes it is. British readers, shut your traps, I heard it on "Bend It Like Beckham", so it must be real.


  1. OH! Please! Mr. Googles will not be the only one upset if you stop using the google calendar! You have such a crazy schedule now and are not just chained to a computer like me anymore, and how will I know what you are doing every minute of the day if you are not on chat AND your calendar doesn't tell me?!

    Unless of course you get a blackberry and can just continue to chat with me while you are on the move!

    I don't have issues, I swear.

  2. Not only is it a british-ism, but it is also a perfectly respectable british-ism at that. However, I don't like the word 'british-ism' - we in the UK would talk about 'Americanisms' so perhaps 'Britonism' would be better? Yes, for some reason a person from Britain is a Briton; but there isn't a word for a person specifically from England, Wales, or Ireland, respectively, and 'Scot' seems almost racially offensive these days, though I don't know why -- if I was Scottish, I wouldn't mind being called a Scot! Sorry - I'm a total stranger, I know, and apparently I'm wittering at random on your blog... enjoy!

  3. Saturday: I figured out how to sync the calendars, so your internet stalking of me can continue. Your in-person stalking of me, however, may be getting in the way of your job soon, since it's a 7 1/2 hour commute.

    Brink: I enjoy random wittering, particularly if you call it wittering. I also like nattering and dickering. And I appreciate the independent confirmation of my NOT made up Britonisms.