Monday, June 6, 2011

Day 6: Kangaroo

This kangaroo is a superhero, but this is a picture of his secret identity, Bernard:

He doesn't have to wear glasses like Superman or Spiderman or anything, because he's a kangaroo, so who would suspect that he's a superhero? Have you ever seen a kangaroo try to move slowly? It's painful to watch. They're not really made for leisurely strolls, so no one is suspicious when he jumps at super speed to the rescue. He does have to pretend to be interested in football though, and he's even in a fantasy league. His team name is "The American Football Champions," because he couldn't think of a good pun, since he doesn't actually know anything about football. Anyway, he's smiling a little bit here, because he's on his way to save a bunny rabbit that is being held prisoner by his nemesis, Captain Evil, and he just likes knowing he's going to get to lord it over the rabbit, who thinks he's a really good jumper, but has nothing on a kangaroo.

Don't forget to check out Paper Sparrow and the Flickr for more animal doodles!

On another note, have any of you ever checked out the search terms that lead to your blog? It's a frightening undertaking. It seems that the thing I'm most famous for is that one time I talked about the earwig in our bathroom... sorry everyone who searched for that, I don't think I had any advice besides "get your husband to stomp on it for you." The second thing I noticed is that it seems like some people just type whatever they're thinking into Google, like "Your [sic] grinding your teeth it's so discusting [sic] I can't never sleep." Was your computer grinding its teeth? Were you only interested in articles on tooth-grinding that contained this exact complaint? Or is there some kind of artificial intelligence out there that I have completely missed? The third thing I found was by far the most disturbing, and almost caused me to shut down my blog entirely. This phrase: "How do I get my sister to sleep with me?" led to my blog. Just in case the same (or another) person ends up back here because now I've typed that exact sentence, here is my advice:

You don't. Shut up. Please leave the internet immediately before we have to get the bouncer out here. Gak. Wait, before you go, please tell me you don't actually have a sister, and then show me proof of the intensive therapy you're about to undergo and then you can leave.


  1. AHHH! Gross! What's wrong with the world?

    You should make Bernard your blog bouncer to set the creeps straight.

  2. Ooh, good idea! I could make it worth his while.